During an election season, broaching the topic of politics feels like handling a live grenade, no matter how casually the topic arises in conversation. Client dinners, business meetings, and family holidays are all high-risk situations where political shrapnel has the potential to implode your important relationships. Considering this, it’s common for leaders (and everyone in a company) to avoid political conversations altogether, sometimes shutting them down as soon as they begin. Others only talk about their political views after looking over their shoulder and closing the office door, ensuring that they’re surrounded by others who share similar values. However, these leaders are missing an opportunity to build an important skill. Learning how to navigate conversations with those who hold different beliefs from us can not only make us more compassionate human beings but also more effective leaders. It’s an important skill to cultivate as politics—and other divisive topics—can’t be avoided in all situations.
Exercise Self-Control
Typically, when we are confronted with a view that is egregiously different from our own, we feel triggered. We may feel threatened, and so we make assumptions about the other person and react defensively. Self-control is being able to work through these assumptions before uttering a single word. We have to recognize that our first reaction to those with different values is one born of emotion. If we choose to speak from this place, the conversation ends before either party has a chance to truly hear, much less understand, each other’s point of view. Instead, practice self-control by allowing your knee-jerk reaction to roll through your head, silently. Note to yourself whatever feelings you have about what was said. No matter how uncomfortable you might be with the statements presented, put your unease to the side so that you can be present with the other people involved.
Exercising self-control doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings or pretending they don’t exist; it’s about managing them in a way that allows for a more productive conversation. It’s important to recognize the difference between self-control and self-suppression. By managing your initial reactions internally, you can take time to process your emotions without letting them dictate your responses. This practice not only keeps the discussion civil but also sets a tone of respect and openness, encouraging others to do the same. The more you practice this skill, the easier it will become to engage in challenging conversations without feeling overwhelmed or defensive.
Cultivate Curiosity
Meet the other person where they are. Rather than giving attention to your trigger, try to understand intellectually why this person holds this belief. If it helps, remember that the goal of the conversation is to get to know another person, not to debate a controversial or upsetting topic. Often, people who hold values contrary to our own also have life experiences that are vastly different from ours. The goal here is to try to be as objective as possible. Ask yourself: “Why is this so important to the other person? What experiences may have brought them here?” Remind yourself that whatever these core differences are, they’re a reflection of someone’s life, not a personal attack on you.
Cultivating curiosity involves active listening and asking open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share their story. This approach allows you to connect on a human level, beyond the contentious topic at hand. For instance, if someone expresses a strong political opinion, inquire about the experiences that shaped their views. Understanding the “why” behind someone’s beliefs provides context that can foster empathy and reduce tension. Additionally, approaching the conversation with genuine curiosity signals to the other person that you value their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it. This can transform a potentially divisive discussion into an opportunity for mutual learning and growth.
Acknowledge the Discomfort
During election season, discussing politics can feel like handling a live grenade, regardless of how casually the topic comes up. Whether at client dinners, business meetings, or family holidays, political discussions can jeopardize important relationships. Due to this risk, leaders—and employees—often avoid political conversations entirely, sometimes shutting them down as soon as they start. Others only share their political views after ensuring they’re surrounded by like-minded people, usually behind closed doors. However, by doing so, they miss a valuable opportunity to develop a crucial skill. Learning to navigate conversations with those who hold different beliefs can foster compassion and improve leadership abilities. This is an essential skill to develop, as politics and other divisive topics inevitably surface in various situations. Building this capability not only enhances our effectiveness as leaders but also enriches our humanity by teaching us empathy and understanding toward differing perspectives.